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Confessions of a Curly Girl Blog Part 1
Confessions of a Curly Girl - part 1
Author - Camealia Xavier-Chihota
My First Braids
Although my natural hair journey spans two decades, this is the very first time I’ve ever had braids in my life. And of course, I didn’t start small, I went straight for Goddess Braids in honey-blonde tones, naturally!
For some people this 40-year-old first might be shocking, but I’ve always been more of a wash-and-go kind of girl.
I grew up with the usual plaits my mum managed every Saturday, Live & Kicking on in the background, while she worked her way through three girls’ heads of hair. It took all day. By the time I hit double digits, she finally gave in to my pleas and let my cousin relax my hair to make it more “manageable.” Of course, a wash or two later, my curls were back, bouncy as ever.
At school, things got complicated. My go-to was a slicked-back ponytail, because one teacher once told me off for having “braids” — when in fact it was just canerow. My mum’s response when the school rang to complain: “We’re Black, that’s how we keep our hair tidy.”
On the rare occasion I was allowed to wear my hair out, it would start smooth and coily “like Mel B’s hair,” but as it dried, it puffed up into a full on Fro. The girls at school would ask, “Why don’t you straighten it like Tia & Tamera?” My answer: “Because it doesn’t stay that way.”
When the GHD straighteners came out, those magical 200+ degree irons, I was right there. Hours of heat week after week, until my mid-back length hair broke into a bob. By the age of 20, I’d had enough. No big chop, but slow trims and a lot of patience brought my natural curls back.
I figured out what a co-wash was before it even had a name. I tried every curly-girl product I could get my hands on. I’ve seen the market explode from a tiny corner on the shelf to entire aisles filled with “curl care.”
But even now, at 40, this was my very first time trying something different… my first braids. And after four weeks, I’m ready to resume my curly crown.
The Bigger Picture: Why Hair Still Matters
My “first braids” story sits inside a much wider conversation about race, beauty standards and Black hair in particular. Growing up in the 90s and noughties, there was no protection for kids like me when schools sent us home or told us our hair was “untidy.” We were simply expected to conform.
It wasn’t until 2019 that the US passed the CROWN Act (“Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair”), starting in California, making race-based hair discrimination explicitly illegal.
In the UK, the Halo Code, created by young Black activists from the Halo Collective (launched in 2020), became the first hair code in schools and workplaces. It’s a pledge to protect Afro hair in all its styles, Afros, locs, braids, twists, plaits, recognising that hair is an integral part of racial, cultural and religious identity.
Race-based hair discrimination has technically been illegal in the UK under the Equality Act since 2010, but in practice schools and employers often got away with banning Afro-textured hair. The Halo Code was the first real move to close that gap, giving institutions clear guidance.
So while I was being told off in class for wearing canerow, there was nothing to back my mum up when she said: “This is how our hair stays tidy.” Today, there finally is.
Closing Confession
I confess: I resisted braids all these years because I thought they weren’t “me.” But that belief was rooted in the biases I absorbed as a kid, from schools, from peers, from the world around me.
Wearing my first braids now feels like reclaiming something I didn’t know I’d lost. A reminder that my hair has always been my crown, whether coiled, braided, or flowing free.
By Camealia Xavier-Chihota
Camealia is the Marketing and Social Media Director at The Digital Voice™️ PR agency, where she leads high-performing teams to deliver strategic, creative campaigns with demonstrable impact. With a coily career path spanning Fashion Buying, E-commerce, Events and Marketing, she blends commercial thinking with creative problem-solving to drive business growth.
A passionate advocate for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, Camealia is the granddaughter and spokesperson of equality activist Asquith Xavier, an unsung Windrush hero. In 2020 she co-founded Medway Culture Club, a charity that promotes racial harmony and inclusively celebrates diversity. A award-winning leader, she motivates volunteers to deliver meaningful cultural enrichment and foster a strong sense of community belonging.
